How to Deal With Blame in HR: A Guide for Startup Leaders

Welcome to the HR merry-go-round, where one minute you’re consoling a distraught employee and the next, you’re the “bad guy” for enforcing a company policy.

HR can be a thankless job in the best of circumstances, but in the chaotic world of startups, you’re responsible for compliance, culture, employee well-being, and employee performance – and that’s just before your lunch break, if you manage to take one.

If you work in a startup, this is what you signed up for, though. There’s a time and place to bemoan your workplace and plot your escape, but that place is usually a forum where like-minded folks can commiserate with you in the trenches.

This post is not that. It’s a practical guide to help you deal with blame and what you can do about it.

From Cop to Camp Counselor: The Roles HR Plays

Startups paint a fun picture of creating a vibrant culture from scratch and playing a direct role in shaping the workplace. To be fair, some of that can be true… for most other roles.

But HR in a startup usually falls under two roles:

• The cop
• The counselor

On one hand, you’re going to be made out to be the company cop. You’ll need to enforce workplace policies, remind employees about mandatory training, and steer compliance conversations. As a result, executives and employees may see you as the “stick in the mud,” leaving you in the uncomfortable, isolating position of constantly feeling like the “bad guy.”

At the same time, you’ll also be seen as the shoulder to cry on. Even for the most compassionate people, this can be exhausting. From resentment over promotions to employee bickering about stolen lunches, you’ll sit and listen and offer advice while straddling the

uncomfortable line of trying to represent your company while hearing your coworkers out.

These two worlds are diametrically opposed and leave little room for you to come out as the winner, leading to the “blame game” that companies play with HR.

Why HR Becomes a Scapegoat

To add insult to injury, you don’t just have to straddle both worlds above. You will, according to your peers, fail spectacularly at it and never please anyone.

This is unfortunately commonplace. That doesn’t mean it’s true, though. You can expect the following to be the reasons for shouldering blame in your company:

• Delivering unpopular decisions: Layoffs, hiring freezes, promotion freezes, and other controversial policies may be approved or requested by executives, but they’re delivered by HR. As a result, people tend to direct their frustration at the person in front of them rather than at abstract leadership structures.
• Limited authority to drive change: HR can identify cultural problems, recommend solutions, and design better systems, but implementation requires leadership buy-in and organizational commitment. When employees see inaction and assume HR either doesn’t care or lacks competence.
• Visibility during crises: HR becomes the organizational face during the moments people remember most vividly: terminations, disciplinary actions, contentious performance reviews, and workplace conflicts. An employee who had positive experiences with their manager but one difficult conversation with HR may walk away viewing HR as the problem, even if HR was simply executing a decision made by that same manager.
• Perception as enforcers rather than advocates: Many employees view HR through a compliance lens: the people who enforce policies, investigate complaints, and ensure the company’s protection. This positions HR as adversarial by default, while the reality is more nuanced.

Think this is overblown? HubSpot’s former Chief People Officer, Katie Burke, published a 1,500+ word response on LinkedIn to a crisis many years prior: what HubSpot insiders fondly remember as “Berrygate.”

Like many hot startups/scaleups, HubSpot enticed top talent with free food among other perks. One such perk was a steady supply of fresh berries, which employees happily ate with breakfast, as snacks, and, in some instances, brought home. HubSpot leadership made an unpopular decision at the time to replace the fresh berries with a smoothie bar in the office, which caused an internal meltdown that Katie Burke shouldered.

If something as simple as fresh raspberries can cause a controversy that requires such an intense public deepdive, you can imagine how unpopular decisions that carry actual weight within a company can be.

HR May Be Seen as a Thankless Job, But It’s a Critical One

Executives view HR as the rule-keepers and compliance managers, while employees view HR as the one who fires employees, prevents promotions, or forces everyone to comply with routine engagement initiatives.

Both perceptions can be excused, but they couldn’t be further from the whole truth.

Take it from someone who built his entire career in HR and has advised over 150 companies across the globe: HR is just as much a growth driver as marketing, sales, or product. Don’t believe me? I have dozens of examples where HR was the deciding factor in changing a company’s growth trajectory.

Here’s an example: I joined a PC gaming and e-commerce company when it had fewer than 30 employees, with the goal of setting it up for scale as it expanded from a Dallas-based operation to a fully remote company across the United States.

Achieving that required HR-led initiatives, like:

• Setting up employee infrastructure across the United States and over 25 countries.
• Designing an org structure that aligned with company goals and objectives.
• Building a sustainable benefits strategy to attract top talent while working within the company budget.
• Automating admin work to streamline HR and free up time to work on higher-value work like the above.

The company nearly tripled revenue to $80M and was ranked by SMU 100 as the 4th-fastest-growing company in Dallas. Believe me, you’re not a cop, and you’re not a counselor; you’re a growth-driver for your company. You might not always be popular with everyone, but you are a pivotal employee.

How to Manage the Blame Game

You can’t change the nature of the job, but you can change how you approach it.

I find that the most helpful first step is to accept that you’re never going to be everyone’s best friend, and that you’re not in your role to win a popularity contest; you’re there to put your company in the best position possible to achieve its goals.

When you feel that the blame game is starting to rear its ugly head, I recommend the following:

• Set boundaries: Stop being the “counselor” who listens to everything. When an employee comes to you with a personal problem that isn’t work-related, be compassionate and direct. When they come to you with a work issue, be clear that you will listen, but your role is to document and act. Don’t promise confidentiality you can’t deliver.
• Communicate like a real person: When you’re delivering bad news or discussing a difficult situation, be direct and empathetic. Don’t just say the ChatGPT-generated lines like “Your performance isn’t meeting expectations, and we need to see significant changes, or your job is at risk.” Be a human, but within reason, while standing firm so you can do your job.
• Align with leadership, always: You can’t be an effective HR professional if you’re not in lockstep with senior management. Your decisions need to reflect the company’s vision and strategy. Make it clear to the organization that you are an essential part of the leadership team and not just an administrative function.

At the end of the day, though, staying focused on your role and the impact you can drive is your best defense. You name it, I’ve seen it in my career: reductions in workforce, pay cuts, benefit changes… the list goes on and on. You can’t let the external noise throw you off track, though. You just need to find a way to keep going.

When all else fails, remember the wise words from Katie Burke’s LinkedIn post:

“Usually, when we got tough feedback on pretty much anything at HubSpot, I would be the first to own it, apologize and solution it, but this was different. The thread had very few solutions, had nothing about our business or our customers in it and just felt like we were missing the entire point on all things culture….

The thing you think was a one-day funny Slack outburst will end up following you your whole career, so just embrace it. We won Glassdoor’s Best Place to Work Award the very next year, so good things come to those who stand up for what their culture really means and what it doesn’t.”

Katie didn’t back down from the decision. She defended it thoughtfully and empathetically toward her coworkers. That doesn’t mean that the reception was a happy-go-lucky campfire session, but it does mean that Katie held her head above water.

You’ll encounter much more serious catastrophes than berries being taken from the company fridge, but if you can stand your ground and remember that, one day, you’ll be able to look fondly back at your current situation, it’s not so bad.

Download the HR Survival Guide

The blame game usually stems from HR being seen as nothing more than a department to air grievances to or the cause of those same grievances. In my experience, HR’s potential within a company is far more than that.

Companies that do not prioritize HR or view it as a strategic function fail. As an HR leader, this responsibility falls on you. But don’t worry, I have something for you to handle the pressure.

Successful startups scale because they build the systems needed to attract and retain top performers, and equip them to do their best work. I mapped out this and more in my Startup HR Survival Guide. In this free guide, you will learn:

• How HR can drive growth
• How to hire
• How HR evolves as your company grows

And more! Fill out the form below to download the free guide and put your company on the path to hyper-growth.